


From behind the lens

by Kiyuomi



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Gen, Maybe OOC, like really serious angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-02
Updated: 2014-09-02
Packaged: 2018-02-15 21:45:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2244477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiyuomi/pseuds/Kiyuomi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"She's never really liked volleyball. Not before high school. Not before meeting the team."</p>
<p>A short look into Karsuno's own beautiful manager.</p>
            </blockquote>





	From behind the lens

**Author's Note:**

> When I meant angst I meant serious angst. Un-beta'd. (as always, anyone want to beta for me?) It starts out fluffy-ish and gets worse and worse to the end. Eh, it's an insight to the character.

Volleyball was never this fascinating in middle school.  
  
Kiyoko watches Hinata sprint, jump and raise his arm for a spike that won't come. But his bright eyes and grin are captivating all the same, and she finds herself urging the ball towards Hinata. On the other side of the court is Tanaka, all energy and power in his knees as he springs and shouts. He's yelling, "oh"s and "yaaahhh"s made of pure will rather than the vibrations of vocal chords. But neither of them will be hitting the spike today. Her hand tightens around the towel in her palm as she watches Kageyama glance back. She stares at he shifts, ever so lightly, and tips forward. For a moment, time seems to freeze and she can't breathe. Kageyama sets the ball.  
  
It comes crashing down on the other side of the court.  
  
The team screams, and she can feel her heart pounding louder and louder, demanding attention. It feels drowned out by her fellow teammates enthusiam, but it's never bad to be safe. Kiyoko breathes and watches, mesmerized. Asahi is staring in awe, awe of his own spike. Nishinoya is running then jumping, climbing the ace with his own enthusiastic shout. Hinata looks at Kageyama, then turns back to his own empty hand. Kiyoko feels pity rush towards her and she grabs a bottle to bring to Hinata when Kageyama turns to him.  
  
"T-that felt amazing. I didn't even spike the ball but... that felt amazing" Hinata breathes, and the world feels dizzy when Kiyoko releases the bottle back into its bin. She ignores the curious glance of coach Ukai and the nervous look Takeda sends her way. Her palms feel sweaty but she ignores the towel and stares into Kageyama. He nods and looks at Hinata.  
  
"Next time, you'll spike it" Hinata's roar is deafening, and seconds later he's tackled by Tanaka. Daichi comes rushing over, yelling about horseplay but Kiyoko has seen his expression before, and it's a feeling of love rather than fury. Behind him is Sugawara, ready as always, who laughs and helps Hinata and Tanaka from their fallen positions after Tanaka's tackle. Asahi waddles over, smiling nervously even as Nishinoya dangles over him. It's a nice picture, but it's not complete. Tsukishima didn't come to practice today (lately he's been avoiding practice, she should really find out why) and Yamaguchi has chosen to practice with his own coach (that senior with the float serve). She wonders where the second year trio is, thinks of Ennoshita's  studying lessons and relaxes at the thought of his responsible nature. Next practice, she promises to herself, the team will  
all be there.  
  
Coach Ukai rises from his seat and marches over, barking about the timing of the spike much to the chargin of the team. Takeda trails after him, softening the blows to protect the team that he's come to love. Kiyoko envisions the missing members and for a moment it feels like the family is all there. Coach Ukai calls for the end of practice and she comes over with towels and  water bottles, ready to help the team in any way she can. She throws bottles to Daichi first, then Sugawara and makes her way down the list. Nishinoya and Tanaka give particulary enthusiastic thanks, and she nods in response. Minutes later, the gym is empty except for her. She chased away the team's offer to clean up the towels (they had enough clean up work without volunteering) and rolls the bin to the corner. She envisions the full team, envisions them winning and feels warmth spread in her body. It's a good feeling, she decides.  
  
Kiyoko finishes cleaning up the gym and walks out, locking it as she leaves. Usually one of the team would have accompanied her, but she feels like being alone today. There's a drop of water hitting the roof, and a feeling of wetness on her cheek, before a downpour starts. She's startled (there was no rain on the weather report today!) and runs out with her rucksack over her head. It's late now, and the volleyball team has no doubt already gone home. Or are eating pork buns. She's never quite liked pork buns.  
  
She's never really liked volleyball either. Not before high school. Not before meeting the team.  
  
It's dark out now, and scary. Kiyoko hugs her rucksack a little tighter to her head and quickens her pace. Her bus spot has a small sitting area with a roof. Surely, surely she can find some relief there. But rather than run the direct route, she finds herself turning towards Coach Ukai's store. She wants to stop, to run away because she's going to miss her bus, she just knows it, but something urges her to move forward. Maybe Coach Ukai will let her wait the rain out. Maybe the team will be hiding in the store too, sharing warm pork buns and talking about today's practice. She runs to the store.  
  
It's not open. There are no signs of pork buns, and the Karasuno team is not there. She feels her breathes quicken and her speed slow until she's strolling along, marching past the store without a glance at the opening. She feels a warm wetness on her cheeks and it doesn't take long for her to recognize the smart stinging in her eye. Resolutely, she marches on.  
  
She was never a part of the team anyway. The third years would be leaving soon, and she would be gone with them. What had she done in her three years? She'd never found a member for the team. She'd never helped save a ball, or serve, or spike. She'd done nothing but sit by the side, water bottles and towel in arm. It's cold again, and she conjures a picture of the team in her mind. Imagines Hinata's loud shout of joy, Kageyama's retort to Hinata, Tsukishima turning away yet close enough to be in the picture. She sees Nishinoya clinging to Asahi, pumping his fist in unision with Tanaka. Ennoshita is behind them, dragging the other four second years to the side for the picture. Daichi is front and center, Sugawara aside him with their arms slung across each other's shoulders. Coach Ukai on the side, waving a board of the day's tasks. And Takeda sensei's soft voice,  
urging the team to settle for the picture. There is no Kiyoko in the frame. She is the one holding the camera, the one hidden from view. The outsider.  
  
This time, picturing the team makes her feel colder. She marches on in the rain, her cheeks wet with hot tears and the cold rain that has reduced to a drizzle. She moves her wet rucksack to her side, it doesn't matter when she's soaking anyway. Kiyoko walks on to the bus stop. There is no one else waiting. The bus must have left.  
  
She's alone. (It hurts)


End file.
